Not too bad man, I appreciated when you started speaking to us - the audience - when you started bringing up how you're Chinese and your English wasn't that great, and you started poking fun at yourself a little bit because of it. That's a good character moment for you, lets the audience get to know you a little bit. Then there's the iPad jokes, don't worry about overusing it, it is what it is, that thing is a freaking iPad and no one can say otherwise, so call it whatever you want lol.

Dialogue reading. I find it funny that your first instinct is always to read everything that comes across the screen, and then you stop in the middle and realize that "Why am I reading this?!" That was funny, because it sounded natural. You weren't FORCING yourself to make that mistake, it was genuine. Now if you tried to fake it, then it wouldn't be funny because it would sound more like you're acting. Being real and genuine is the key!

The only thing I would say as a slight nitpick is that the background noise (other people talking) was pretty noticeable at times, although I have a feeling that you can't really do anything about that.

All in all, I was impressed dude! For never having done a Let's Play in English, that was pretty good. The only other thing I would say is this: if you don't get a bunch of views on your video, then don't stress it too much. It will take time for you to get noticed, but the best way to get more attention is to just be consistent. Keep up the good work and eventually you'll get yourself a nice little audience!